The Real Gay Househusbands of Bravo’s "Housewives"

by Tim Parks

As the old saying goes, “behind every great man, there’s a great woman.” But in the case of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise the tables are turned, and it could very well be said that “behind some housewives, there’s a gay househusband.”

Gay men on reality TV are often portrayed as the ones who unsheath their claws at the first hint of a verbal catfight, but in the "reality" of Bravo's Housewives it has so far been the women who are front and center and ready to throw down (or flip over a table), pull weaves and go for the jugular with their cutting comments. Meanwhile, the gay househusbands are mostly there in the background for support, ready to lend an ear and, yes sometimes, to stir the pot, too.

Surprisingly for shows with such a vast gay following, only a handful of gay househusbands – or “GHH’s” – have made an appearance over the years. And the majority of these guys have been on hand to make the ladies, and sometimes their not-so-humble abodes, look fabulous.

This isn't exactly groundbreaking territory – nothing that the Queer Eye guys for instance hadn't already covered before – but still, the GHHs have made their contributions to gay visibility in reality TV. To better assess those contributions we figured we’d take a lighthearted look at the form and function of gay men in each of the Real Housewives cities: Orange County, New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, D.C. and Beverly Hills. 

Orange County's Frankie

Where else to start but at the beginning with those housewives from Orange County? Jeana Keough, the recent Thintervention participant, had a gay workout partner named Frankie (not to mention a hottie son named Shane). Frankie ended up causing friction between Keough and Vicki Gunvalson when he moved into the latter’s house that she had on the market, and was helping in its redecorating.

Frankie: Known for his lustrous hair and tendency to over-imbibe.

Despite the fact that fellow housewife Tamra Barney got into a wee bit of hot water with her use of the word “homo,” in reference to how Slade Smiley was dressed during 2009’s season finale, she stated in her apology via GLAAD that she has been “suggesting” that Bravo include her “bff” Ricky Santana as the new “housewife” for Season Six. Santana had previously been featured during a pool party scene at Barney’s house.

Oh well, it looks like that may not come to pass, as the network has added a bonafide lesbian, Fernanda Rocha, who will reportedly fill the slot left open by Lynne Curtin’s departure.


New York's Brad Boles, Francky L’Official, Shawn Rabideau

Perhaps when Jill Zarin is quoted as saying “I run with a fabulous circle of people” during the opening credits of The Real Housewives of New York City, it’s her “gay husband,” Brad Boles, that she has in mind.

Jill Zarin and Brad Boles

Although, he was pretty much M.I.A. during the third season, he was a regular fixture on the previous two outings. Boles, who designed the Zarin Fabrics showroom and even redecorated his “straight wife’s” home, may be the living answer to the question of “What’s a gay husband good for?” And that answer is: “He knows how to make a room pop!”

Also from the New York series we have Bethenny Frankel, who made a pact with her hairstylist/confidant Francky L’Official that if neither one was married by the time their respective big 4-0 birthdays rolled around, the two would become man and wife.

Bethenny and Francky

However, Frankel eventually met Jason Hoppy, which was lucky for her, since she got the spin-off show Bethenny Getting Married? and quite the handsome husband, to boot.

But, it might not have been a case of “thank your lucky stars” for her gay wedding planner, Shawn Rabideau, as she put him through his paces and the ringer to pull off her dream wedding in only four weeks time. The lesson here is to always trust that a seasoned and professional gay man can pull off the impossible.

Shawn Rabideau — and this image captures his frequent reaction to working with Bethenny.

Atlanta's Dwight Eubanks, Lawrence Washington and Derek J.

By far, Hotlanta has the majority of gay househusbands with three, count ’em three, populating the landscape and this trio are more integral to the show’s storylines, I mean, the “watch what happens” aspect of the third spin-off.

When viewers were first introduced to the show’s self-proclaimed “fashion guru” and “unofficial housewife,” Dwight Eubanks, they may have mistaken him for a long lost Jackson sibling.

Dwight Eubanks

As it turns out, he may want to adopt the late King of Pop’s signature track “Beat It” as a mantra because he seems to have been bouncing from one housewife to the next as the seasons progress and he manages to alienate himself with the more senior cast.

First, he was NeNe Leakes’ gay bestie, until there was some drama with a capital D during the third season premiere, which involved him supposedly lending her other husband, Greg, $10,000 behind her back. But she was most definitely face-to-face with him during their confrontation.

After the screaming match (mostly from Leakes’ mouth) at a shoe boutique event, he proclaimed himself “a tiger” and said he would fight the good fight. As a certain Frosted Flakes mascot is famous for saying, “That’s Grrreat!” Don’t back down, even if the imposing Leakes seems to tower over you. (She stands 5’10.)

During the second season, Sheree Whitfield enlisted his help in putting together a fashion show for her “She By Sheree” clothing line. Let’s just say that the two could give the mixing of oil and water a run for their money, as both jockeyed to be “the head diva in charge.”

Returning to the third season, already in progress, Eubanks now seems attached to new addition Phaedra Parks, by being instrumental in bringing her rather, uh, “unique” baby shower to life. The party was resplendent with ballerinas and a specially choreographed dance for Parks and Eubanks to perform for those in attendance. OK.

No, he didn’t sport a tutu, but no matter what your views on him are, at least he’s good at putting himself front-and-center on the show.

Moving on, both Lawrence Washington and Derek J. have a penchant for wearing high heels as part of their daily ensembles, which could just be a carry over from Leakes’ “Heel The Sole” charity run that involved wearing stilettos for a good cause. Or they are simply being who they are.

I vote for them being true to themselves.

Lawrence Washington (left) and Derek J.

Washington, who is Whitfield’s hairdresser, has said in interviews that he identifies as a cross-dresser. But this season he has also emerged as a singer, with the help of Housewife Kandi Burruss. She didn’t need to use any sleight of hand trickery to make him sound good on his single “Closet Freak,” as he has vocal chops with a side of applesauce.

Derek J., who was featured in Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair and was recently a guest judge on Oxygen’s Hair Battle Spectacular, obviously knows a thing or two about the follicle set. However, it was his connection to Kim Zolciak’s never-ending quest for wigs, wigs, wigs that gave audiences their first taste of his flair for hair, real or otherwise.


New Jersey's Tommy

The Garden State hasn’t exactly smelled like a bed of roses when it comes to portraying gay househusbands on the small screen.

Not so surprisingly, Jersey’s controversial lightning rod, Danielle Staub, has reportedly been linked to her “Real Close” duet partner (and card carrying lesbian), Lori Michaels, off-camera and after the second season wrapped.

But during the first season, she had a gay best friend forever named Tommy (last name being withheld, there Tommy?) who was her rock when the other ladies went on the offensive about her rather shady past.

She wrote on her Bravo blog that she “would like to thank my best friend Tommy, who has gone through it all with me and is the only man I have ever trusted, and is my constant source of friendship and love throughout the past twenty-eight years of my life. God bless you, and I love you Tommy.”

Funny, Tommy didn’t return for the sophomore season, even after Staub was upset during the inaugural season when Joe Giudice (Teresa’s wedded spouse) used “gay” as an offensive adjective during a dancing lesson.




Danielle explains why she took offense to a gay comment...

Strangely, she also did not take her “bodyguard” Danny Provenzano to task for calling Caroline Manzo’s son Christopher the other “f” word during Season Two.

As for Season Three, which Staub is not going to be a part of, there is hope for some shred of gaiety. The remaining Jersey Housewives, and two of their daughters, recently took part in the play My Big Gay Italian Wedding, with the proceeds going to Marriage Equality New York.

So I guess that’s something, right? Right? Is this thing on?


D.C.'s Paul Wharton, Jason Backe and his salon-owning hubby Ted Gibson

The Washington edition of Housewives eventually became all about scandalous partygoers Michaele and Tareq Salahi (yawn), and viewers were introduced to yet another slew of hairdressers mostly there to fawn over the main cast.

Left to right: Paul Wharton, Jason Backe and Ted Gibson.

But things took a more serious turn when the show  took on the subject of gay marriage. City Council member David Catania was featured, and he invited Mary Amons, Stacie and Jason Turner, Lynda Erkiletian, Wharton and Cat Ommanney to hear his pro-gay marriage point of view.

Wharton was rightfully beside himself when Housewife Stacie and and her husband Jason suddenly started harkening back to their Baptist roots as a reason to oppose gay marriage, and ditzy Amons declared that the issue didn’t affect her since none of her friends and family were gay. That comment was only slightly less embarrassing than the one Amons drunkenly made stating that salons for African-Americans and Caucasians shouldn't be integrated, because “we have different hair, different needs.” Welcome to 2010, hon.

Speaking of welcomes, it seems as though British transplant Ommanney was clearly embraced by the gay househusbands of D.C., as she spent a lot of time chatting with Backe and Wharton.

One can only hope that the gentleman came equipped with their own subtitle machines during said conversations, as the English rose was a tad hard to understand at times.

I kid because I love.


Beverly Hills' Cedric Martinez and Dwight Coates

Anopther English import, Cedric Martinez is one lucky bloke, seeing as (a) he gets to be an undetermined-length-of-time houseguest at Lisa Vanderpump’s 32 million dollar mansion, and (b) see above. Seriously, how lucky can one guy get? I want her to adopt me!

It does seem that his benefactor may be getting a little bit tired of the 35-year-old model/actor (are there any other kind, really?) taking up room in her 3,500 square foot guest house. Even though Vanderpump jokingly gripes about him in almost every episode, she seems to really like having Martinez around, even if it’s just to play tricks on him.

Was that not classic when she convinced him to go down and visit the Turkish bath at the party thrown at a friend’s even grander manor? She then chided him for luxuriating in the indoor pool in his Speedos, and expressed regret that underneath all of that “dynamite” (his worked out body) he only had a “two-inch fuse.”

Speaking of making a small impression, there's Taylor Armstrong’s gay lifelong friend, Dwight Coates. He was on-hand to lend her one at the over-the-top ($60,000) birthday party for her four-year-old daughter Kennedy, but other than that, I don’t recall seeing too much of him. Maybe he’s standing in the shadow of Armstrong’s lips? 

Cedric Martinez and his empty pockets (left) and Dwight Coates with Taylor Armstrong

So there you have it, a look at how “The Real Housewives” franchise reminds us about the “pretty, witty and gay” aspects of our culture. And, as we all know, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round, but sometimes the depictions can leave us feeling a little bit flat, like Christopher Columbus off to discover uncharted territories, prior to knowing the world was circular.

Off in the horizon is Andy Cohen’s vision of a gay version of Housewives, which is not to be confused with The A-List: New York, and has not officially been greenlit or given a title, although From The Bottom To The Top was rumored to have been a contender. I’ll just leave that one alone, thank you.

The Bravo executive-vice president of production, and host of Watch What Happens Live, has reportedly lined up two publicists, two designers, a model, and a style showroom owner for the series in development.

Interior designer Jordan Carlyle, book publicist Kenneth Gillett, and model Christopher Fawcett are all supposedly on board for Bravo's new gay Housewives show.

If this show actually makes it to air, will these guys set a new standard for gay househusbands and show up the existing GHHs (and Logo's A-List guys) by comparison? We'll have to wait and see.

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